Truth

You told me no.

Remember?

We sat in your car

And I felt like a fool.

I knew...

But that's beside the point.

I hoped anyway...

I went in the house,

And you were gone.

That's the end, right?

But I was wrong.


You were right there every week

Across the table...

Forcing my eyes to look

Elsewhere.

Did you care that I was nuts about you?

I imagined so...That's why you were there;

Right?

No. You had not come for me.

But maybe you would change your mind!!

If this kind of thing is childish, I'm sorry.

I hoped...and kept on and on.

I'd see you across the room, and through

My viens the hope would flow.

How could I possibly know what you thought?

You never said.

Only small talk; the sort of strangers

Being polite.

No desire to court me.

But there you'd be, across the table.

Week after week...like clockwork.

"You're such a jerk!" I would think.

Would I be able to keep this up?


A split personality I became because

I loved and hated

Adored you and looked forward

To my heart skipping a beat

Every week I would see you.

Prayed God would tell you to tell me

"I love you."

Never would it happen, I knew.

But that was beside the point.

I hoped...and kept on and on.

How could I hide this so long?

I would wonder.

What were you even doing here??

You told me no

Remember?


"Would you leave??"

I wanted to scream at times...

"Please just go!!"

What did you mean anyway?

You told me no, remember??

We sat in your car and I felt like a fool!

You would not pay the price for me

And you knew I wanted to see you!

So you used me, which I didn't see then

You were there, across the table week after

week...

Forcing my eyes to look elsewhere.

Did you care that I was nuts about you??

You mattered to me...a great deal.

Did you feel anything for me at all??

I covered what you did like a protective

mommy...hoping her child would improve with time.

How stupid could I be?? Worse...this went on for three

Long years!!

The tears I wasted on you!!

I was a split personality!

You don't tell someone there's no hope and then raise it up,

You fool!

Do all men do this??

You slime! I should call you every name in the book too!!

But I never did because I believed in you.

Call it modesty or virtue? Well now I call it blind.

Years I have spent cutting resentments out like paper dolls

And putting up walls so you would not suffer too.

Now, I've only one more thing to say...

You guess what it is! (Oh here's a hint; it rhymes!)

I'll be nice, and say the first word is "forget."

I think too highly of the woman I am to cuss you out.;

but here's the deal:

That was a rotten thing you did!!

You made me feel like another word I won't use...and

Did not even bat an eye.

Are all guys like this?? I don't know...

But many women say just what I did:

"I thought you were different."

It is now time for me to take the hint!



CES (C) 2014.