A Trinket

I wish I had something of yours...

A church bulletin maybe.

A hat left on a chair.

A shirt with your scent.

A something representing all our comings and goings.

A forever reminder of sitting by you...

Never daring to tell you to kiss me.

Just one picture!

I'd pull it out and hold it

Close.

Like I want you to hold me.

I know you won't--

But the energy won't leave.

But look at the camera please.!

I've seen your side profile.

That says "I hate pictures of me!"

No no, don't give me that!

Give me your eyes that let me see

Into your soul.

I'm not allowed here, I know.

You whisper to others around me

When you don't want me to know...

Whatever you said.

I'd keep the picture by my bed and

Kiss that.

No one would know.


I wish I had something of yours.

A list you made.

A keychain dropped in the parking lot.

A jacket forgotten in the sanctuary.

Wow. Would I turn it in so you could

have it back? Probably.

I'm an honest girl.

But I'd rather wear it!

Pretend you're wrapped around me

In a never ending hug

Like I'd wanted all the time.

"I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine"

I could write this down...shove it in my pocket...

And pull it out when I think of you.

(I may as well just hold it in my hand).

Trouble is, it's a lie.


That picture of you could go in a locket...

But what if...someone asked to see inside?

Good. Wouldn't need to hide it!


I can do anything...except the one thing I want:

To show my affections for you.

Lord knows it's not easy to cork them so they

Don't overflow...

Or shoot straight up and out!

He values a heart that is broken...contrite.

Perhaps it is achieved when the words I might say

are silenced.

What I had hoped for cannot be;

And so, I wish I had something of yours.

I'd hold it up to my face and imagine you're kissing

Me.

No obsessed fantasy here (Though some may think otherwise).

Just a... trinket, I guess...to lift the disguise...

(If only for a moment).

Let me feel that you are a part of me...see it in my hand.

Sort of like... "Camille":

Armand finds Margurite's glove, dropped on the floor.

He holds it close until he sees her again.

But you would not get yours back...

I'm keeping it my love.

Whatever happens after that, I can remember that I tried.

To walk away. To give you space, while you were in the same

Place I was.

What I wanted cannot be, so, I wish I had something

Of yours.

Ridiculous that I stroke your ego while you do nothing for me.

I know.

But getting angry and telling you where to go just breaks my heart.

That's been done already anyway... what's the point?

I want to hold you close and cannot; so

I wish I had something of yours.


--CES (C)Copyright 2014.