For Anderson

I began to write what I thought was something having to do with my own angst. But as the lines came out, I kept remembering Anderson... his show today about the two babies abandoned; and his book about his own observations and struggles. So, I borrowed a line from him... and Anderson, this one's for you.


Paul says he was given a thorn
In the flesh.
How blessed he was to have known
he had a fresh perspective of his troubles?

Sure...that's what WE say...all we have to
do is read it.
Okay, Paul said that too--but it could not
have been that easy!

Look...

To all who have persevered in struggle:
There are things that permanently change you
And all you can say is..."So be it."
I'm bitter...yes.
I'm torn...yes.

I will forever mourn someone I love--YES!
And that slap of silence that reset the clock
is proof that love existed...so don't mess with it.
Please.
No pep-talk, no cliches
Okay to disagree with me, but do not try to clean
up my mess.
This sort of life I did not wish...but so it is!
You want a better attitude or a different view?

I can try-- but that's up to you.
You want the truth.
Okay, here goes:
I bleed and bleed and it never stops.
I'm angry at God--why did he do this??
For this life I did not wish; but so it is!

I need to change my attitude?
Really, thanks for noticing!
Look...
I hurt.
And you can do nothing about it!
You don't wanna hear that?
Sorry! For this life, I did not
wish--but so it is!

I cannot inflict that on you?
Okay... but why not?--when I'll feel
this all my life?
Don't you bleed? Don't you hurt?
What have you been through?
Ahhh, now the shoe's on the other foot!

Be fair:
Maybe I don't want your victory tales.
Just allow me to say "I don't care about that now."
Your rhetoric I cannot swallow; just let me be.
You talk to to me of hope; when mine's been shattered.
My heart is hollow, I'm a tattered mess.

This is all I have.
To all who've persevered in struggle:
There are things that permanently change you,
and all you can say is: "So be it."
I'm bitter...yes.
I'm torn...yes.
I will forever mourn someone I love--YES!
And that slap of silence that reset the clock is all
that's left!
So don't mess with it
Please.
No pep-talk, no cliches.
Okay to disagree with me, but do not try
to clean up my mess!
Maybe I'll cry myself to sleep--
Who knows?
For this life, I did not wish--
but so it is.

CES (C) 2011.